June 4th 1999

    Ok... What has happened in the last couple of weeks or so.  Hmm... I have gotten upset at people.  WHAT THE FUCK IS TONY KULTON'S PROBLEM?!?!  Does he not understand "Don't talk to me anymore."  What the fuck is up with that you dumb fucking idiot.  You are such a fucking dick!   She doesn't want to talk to you anymore.  Ok?  Ashley?  Where do you get the decency to bitch at me and then expect me not to do anything?  What is up your ass?!?  Don't even come begging for me to help you out!  You have pissed me off.  Why should I pity you 2?  Tony... You are just stupid and I always thought you were a loser.  Ash?  I thought you were better than that.  What happened?  You hurt my feelings.  Then I tell you I don't want to talk to you anymore because this is the 3rd time it's happened.  What and where do you get off?   I didn't do anything wrong!  It seems to be my fault.  FUCK IT!!  I know you won't understand... Why should I bother... Tony... Just think... In the Words of StainD... "JUST GO!"  Dumbass!  Anyhow.  Lets get on to happier things.  Today... SUCKED!!!!!  It was the slowest fucking day in my entire life!   What is up with that?  I put on my happy face and it seems like left and right I get chewed out for being who I've been for a long long LONG TIME!!  Ok... So few people didn't do anything.  But that doesn't mean the majority didn't do anything.   Jared... For fucking with my mind.  Powell... Just being dumb and pissing me off.  Same with Preto.  BRIAN JONES... What I would love to do with your body.   The many different way I could destroy it.  Mmm... I can almost smell your burning flesh.  FUCKING DICK!!!  STOP BEING A FUCKING RETARD AND SHOWING OFF!!!!   NO ONE THINKS YOU ARE FUNNY!!!!!  Oh wait... I was to be happy now.   Hmm... What is there to be happy about?  I'm failing high school... Possibly stay back another year.  NOT HAPPY!  Hmm... Girlfriend?  Why... She will only move away at the end of summer and I will most likely not talk to her that much... NOT HAPPY!!  TONY... PSHAW!  He just makes me laugh on how pathetic he is at trying to make friends.  The only happy things... Making fun of Brian Jones and Tony Kulton... The 2 of them are at the top of my shit list.  And the main let down... I pity Ashley.  My goddess chicken lady.  My lovely lady who said she won't hurt me.  She said she'd be my friend no matter what happened... I tried to make her happy.  She said that's all she wanted was to be happy and if I was there just for her to talk to me and I don't do anything about it?  Why?  Why do I try with you anymore?  You probably know why but I don't.  :(  How sad.  (sigh)...

    Anyhow... Let me think for a sec on what I have to look forward to in the next couple of months.  This is happy things now... lame things are next.  Happy... Seeing StainD and Limp Bizkit.  and posibbly graduating.   And that's it.  Lame things... Getting hurt when Rachel moves away.   Getting hurt more by Ashley... People looking at me like a pathetic loser like I always am.  Going to Florida and losing my summer vacation... I think that's the best.  Not seeing my firends because of that too.  YEah... it's looking more and more on the up and up.  Ok... Fuck this.  There is a song that matches what mood I am in right now.  It's by a band not to well known but they do understand me.   Insane Clown Posse... "Fuck the World"  Exactly how I feel.   And I think others feel the same way as I do.  Hmm... What else to I have to say to get off my chest.  Maybe I should explain on how I want to rip Brian's head of with a spoon... Why?  Because it's dull and it'll hurt more.  :)  Hehehe... I can see the blood now... Just oozes from his twitching corpse.  Heheh... Sorry... I get in those moods.

    Maybe I shouldn't even be typing things on here... Oh... My friend Brian Graduated and he listen to me complain all night.  That was cool.  Umm... I got a free dinner.  That was cool.  That's all that was cool today.  Tomorrow... I think it's a killing spree if I don't get happy.  And I mean that... You know... I am almost back into that phase where I don't care where I go because I know how to kill myself in a strait jacket and tied to a bed.  I can stop breathing.  I've done it before and passed out... I know I can do it again.   Stupid Mental people.  If they want to kill themselves they whould have done it right in th first place.  Now that I know many ways to do it, I don't care.   Why am I telling you this.  None of you care anyhow.  That's it... Now I'm getting pissed at my own writings.  WELL!!!  FUCK OFF!!